To Escape

It’s why I drink, it’s why I ate
People please, ingratiate
I feel the pull so many times
To flit away when pressures rise.

Escape from my emotions.
Discomfort’s locomotion.
I know that if I just would face
Compulsion would disintegrate.

Yet still I fight with all my might
To still the noise and shed some light, 
But this you taught me, “Settle in.
Your inner freedom lies therein.”

So let me sit down face to face
With my emotions of disgrace.
What is this thing I’d rather hide
Than move on through, devilify?

Boredom, fear, resentment near
The things I flee are never clear.
Hurt feelings hint unworthiness,
A valueless defensiveness.

They tell me to sit down with you
In shame or hurt which ’ere I stew,
What if I could learn to step out 
to see what this is all about?

What image does now come to mind
When I do hear these 'friends' unkind?
A picture pulls the feeling from 
My inner mind, its harm undone.

Now onto tone, incessant drone
Is it one I should condone?
Who is it speaks with so much haste
That echoes through my thoughts now laced?

The father of dishonesty
He mocks and sneers quite haughtily
I think I have no inner choice
When in me speaks this foul voice.

Yet something else you taught me clear
That it’s my Will that let’s him steer
Or does reject his foul voice
And in the Truth choose to rejoice!

Get out of here! You have no place
You long ago chose your disgrace
In Jesus’ name, God, come between
That wretch and me, call down Your Queen!

Our Lady, will you mother me?
Remind me who I am to thee?
Your Spouse and Son and Father Three
Protect, Restore, Remember Me. 

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