I’m restless, defenseless, no one understands
When stuck in this torment, I can’t comprehend.
Thoughts racing, resentment, I’m angry and sad
I’m wrestling with both what is and what had.
My mind in the clutch of the Dangerous Foe
Who hisses, then nudges, then screams, “Don’t let go!”
“Take a stand with demands, these people don’t care.
It’s you and yourself. Approach if you dare!”
Tension, cramping, clutching, grinding
Yelling, crying, dreams dying.
Is this the life you made me to live?
Trapped like an animal, desperate, unhid?
Didn’t hear him at first, it sounded like Me.
I know my own voice, whose else could it be?
Such drudgery, sadness, despair and hate.
Not knowing myself, I fell for his bait.
Then in pieces of quiet
I learned to distinguish
The sound of my voice
From his Hellish anguish
And there, yet another
Beneath it, Before it
Around it, Within it
The silence revealed it!
I could not perceive it through gong, wind and crash
The mental tsunami that made my soul thrash
But under those waves, an unflappable calm
A gentle detection of soul-soothing balm.
“Let Go”, it’s a whisper, a breeze through my thoughts
A gradual release of what keeps me distraught.
Stronger still, then I hear, like the beat of a drum,
His voice as He claims me, lies, rendered undone.
“Let go of untruth, my beautiful child,
Repent and release the devil’s wiles.
I want you for me, I long for your face.
Turn ‘round toward My Son, accept His embrace!”
...Over time, I believe, I’ll unlearn this mistake.
And learn to detach in love and good faith
From things holding captive my heart and my life
Surrender portends the extent that I thrive!